Chapter 1: The Shadows of Childhood

In the aftermath of childhood trauma, which often stems from a mother's difficult past, we embark on a journey toward healing and resilience. This narrative emphasizes that, while our backgrounds may influence us, we possess the ability to reshape our own narratives and pursue our individual paths to joy. 💕

In the depths of sorrow, I weave this story,

Of parental impact, a haunting inventory,

Through the corridors of youth, where trauma leaves its trace,

A message to parents: embrace your own grace.

"Let's part ways, dear Mother," I must declare,

Your thoughts in my mind continue to ensnare.

Though you've found peace and reconciled with your past,

I remain ensnared in the pain that holds fast.

The echoes of your sternness still resonate in my mind,

Your controlling grip leaves me feeling confined.

I cannot forget the intensity of your voice,

A reminder of the turmoil that stole my choice.

My intellect tells me it's a trick of the brain,

Yet I still tremble, drenched in silent pain.

Oh, Mother, you’ve emerged from your shadows of strife,

You smile and admit, "I wasn’t always right."

But you don’t grasp why my voice remains silent,

Why my heart races and my tears feel so violent.

Mother, I’ve sought wisdom from many along the way,

Yet the chill of my heart seems here to stay.

We exist on a spectrum, as specialists proclaim,

Neither of us learned to love without blame.

The hurt I endured was never your design,

But if we’re both justified, where does the fault align?

Memories escape me, only sighs remain,

As doctors provided their remedies for pain.

I lacked the means for the pills they prescribed,

So I stopped seeking solace, feeling deprived.

Then, one fateful day, I felt compelled to write,

You lingered in my thoughts, both day and night.

You'd say my words never quite measured up,

Your voice and dark thoughts made my spirit erupt.

I penned my feelings, disregarding your tone,

And gradually, I began to claim my own throne.

I earned some income through my heartfelt verse,

Formed bonds with friends who helped me reverse.

Yet, dear Mother, even with riches in hand,

As long as you linger, I remain unmanned.

It’s time to bid farewell, Mother, it’s clear,

You and I must separate, let go of our fear.

If we revisit our history one last time,

I’ll tell you, “No, I’m not okay; I’ve climbed.”

Your lessons instilled a fear of being wrong,

But it’s neither your fault nor mine to prolong.

I aspire to live with honesty, free from disguise,

To embrace my failures, allow my spirit to rise.

I wish to stumble, to fall, and to mend,

So I’ve silenced the noise; my own path I’ll tend.

And, Mother, you will slowly come to realize,

You’re ensnared in my world, just as I’ve been tied.

We both face struggles we’re meant to endure,

Different journeys await us, of that, I’m sure.

I will no longer carry your burdens and fears,

Your hopes and dreams, I’ll let disappear.

Your happiness and future belong to you,

While I focus on my healing, my inner view.

I’ll continue to love you, but I’ll bear my own weight,

My own tears and joy, my personal state.

The voice that wished for silence within my head,

And the comfort of my feline friend instead.

In the past, I feared the cost of our split,

That without your affection, I’d surely admit defeat.

Now I’ve found strength in solitude's embrace,

I, too, can cultivate love’s gentle grace.

So, Mother, it’s time for us to part,

With this chapter concluded, we’ll discover our hearts.

On the paths we walk after this goodbye,

I wish for both of us a tranquil sky.

Love,

Emily ❤️

Chapter 2: Embracing the Journey Ahead