Section 1.1: Life Before Quitting

Marijuana served as my escape from accountability. While I was still using, I made numerous poor choices that harmed not only others but myself as well.

I took money from my employers.

I lied to and betrayed my girlfriends.

I engaged in risky behavior online.

I even attempted to pursue my best friend’s girlfriend.

Friends from that time would probably describe me as having some positive traits, but that’s not the focus here. The reality is, I lacked a moral compass or, if I had one, my actions were not in alignment with it. I was aware of the wrongness of my behavior, yet I continued down that path.

I worked jobs that I despised, often isolating myself from coworkers, and nobody knew how close I was to a breaking point.

Section 1.2: Life After Quitting

By now, it should be evident why I chose to stop. But just in case it isn’t clear... I endured enough suffering to recognize that my fears about quitting marijuana paled in comparison to the chaos my life had become.

Without that suffering, it’s possible I wouldn’t have made the change. I believe many people continue to use substances because they haven’t faced enough turmoil. Their chosen substance—be it coffee, alcohol, or marijuana—hasn't wreaked enough havoc in their lives, and perhaps it never will.

Not everyone will eventually change; some may remain stuck. I, however, am not one of those individuals.

The transformation began immediately after I quit. I had long desired to explore psychedelic therapy but had hesitated due to financial concerns. Just three days after quitting, I realized that the cost of inaction could be my life, and my decision was made.

I allocated a significant portion of my savings—$3,000, to be exact—and underwent a series of six ketamine infusions that initially made my situation worse before it improved. The pain I had been avoiding for over two decades resurfaced, and for a couple of weeks, I genuinely questioned whether life was worth living.

I want to clarify that I never considered taking drastic actions. Rather, my pain became so overwhelming that the thought of death seemed like a release. It wasn’t that I wanted to leave this world.

Once I began to see things more clearly, I made significant changes:

• I left my unfulfilling job.
• My father and I addressed our grievances, repairing our relationship.
• I distanced myself from individuals who encouraged my weaknesses.
• I published three memoirs detailing my struggles.
• I became a certified Addiction Recovery and Psychedelic Integration Coach to assist others facing addiction.

Section 2.1: The Process of Quitting

To paraphrase Robin Sharma’s "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari": “You cannot eliminate a negative habit; you must replace it with a positive one.” My previous attempts to quit failed because I wasn’t focused on improving my life; I was merely trying to stop.

When individuals seek my advice on overcoming addiction, I always pose the same question: “Why now?” Their initial responses often include wanting to prove something to themselves or being tired of negative outcomes. While those are good starting points, deeper introspection is essential for lasting success.

Here are a few probing questions to consider:

• If you successfully quit and eliminated that negative outcome, where would you find yourself?
• Who would you become in the eyes of those around you? How would you show up for yourself?

This journey isn’t about sheer willpower; it’s about having a clear direction. However, that direction cannot simply be "to stop." There must be a profound reason behind the decision.

Section 2.2: The Role of Humility

If you had asked me a year ago about addiction, I would have only emphasized the perspective that “addiction is a solution to a seemingly insurmountable problem,” as Gabor Maté often discusses. While I still view that as an essential aspect, I’ve recently confronted my own limitations and biases.

I am not an expert on addiction, but I am someone with five years of sobriety, committed to exploring deeper truths about myself and the world.

In this insightful video, "The Truth About Weed Addiction," the speaker shares their personal experiences with marijuana addiction and the deeper implications of substance use. They delve into the reasons behind addiction and the journey toward recovery.

In "Marijuana and Recovery: Is It Harm Reduction?" the discussion revolves around the complexities of marijuana use in the context of recovery and whether it can serve as a form of harm reduction.

P.S. If you're interested in a free digital copy of my latest memoir, feel free to email me at [email protected] with "Free Memoir" in the subject line.