I find myself in the midst of a lengthy holiday. Prior to this break, I crafted a list of activities I intended to pursue. Yet, I ended up engaging in an entirely different, albeit crucial, task: on the very first day of my holiday, I downloaded several mobile games and subsequently squandered weeks of my time.

While engrossed in these games, I often felt a twinge of self-loathing, especially as I was bombarded with countless game advertisements to fill my in-game “energy” bar. The content of these ads is undeniably strange.

But here you are, reading this instead of working. Let's delve into the peculiarities of these ads.

How I Fell Into This Quagmire During my working hours, I often indulge in a game called X2 Blocks. For me, it serves more as a fidgeting tool — I open it during lunch breaks with colleagues, during lengthy calls, and occasionally during tedious meetings. It helps maintain my focus and keep me alert. Occasionally, I click on ads to earn in-game coins, thinking it might support the developers.

Then I stumbled upon a series of promotions for a game named Merge Mansion. These ads have been circulating for a couple of years, presenting a straightforward premise: your kind Grandma possesses a secret mansion, and as her granddaughter, you merge items to aid in its restoration.

One day, I encountered a particularly shocking ad:

... Grandma was arrested????

Naturally, I turned to YouTube to verify this bizarre claim. To my astonishment, not only was the ad genuine, but it had also spiraled into a series of narratives — Grandma was evading law enforcement, tossing her pink suitcase into the ocean, and apparently wreaking havoc on her granddaughter's life, all in a bid to reach the mansion.

The game developers even enlisted Kathy Bates, an Oscar-winning actress, for a live-action rendition of their ads:

Many viewers commented, expressing their delight, “These ads are fantastic! They ought to be adapted into a television show!”

But I’m not like most people. I am Shirley Lee.

Rational Shirley understands that these convoluted narratives are merely marketing strategies and will likely remain unsolved within the game. If these storylines were part of the actual gameplay, spoilers would have circulated widely by now. It’s all a ruse to entice downloads.

Yet, my impulsive side, dubbed Monkey Brain Shirley, squealed with excitement and immediately downloaded the shiny new app.

I probably invested three hours into the game before abandoning it. As anticipated, there was no indication of any of the events portrayed in the ads within the game’s introduction. Like most freemium games, it attempts to hook players from the start. Before long, the mechanics reveal themselves, akin to a pretentious butler stating:

“Ho ho ho! While you were engrossed in gameplay, you were actually utilizing our Special Energy/Hearts! Now that you've exhausted them all, prepare for an excruciating wait of approximately two decades for a recharge. Enjoy the addiction I’ve instilled, or cough up some cash, you hapless individual!”

I don’t mind waiting a bit if:

• the graphics align with my preferences, and
• it’s a genuinely casual game requiring minimal strategy, allowing me to “be dead while conscious.”

However, the visuals were subpar, and upon discovering that I could merge in-game piggy bank rewards, I stumbled upon this on the game’s fan wiki:

Nope, I could barely keep track of things in my daily life, let alone count and memorize items for a mobile game.

Thus, I swiftly deleted the app.

Another Game That Sparked the Odd Ad Parade While awaiting item generation in Merge Mansion (before deleting it), I returned to X2 Blocks to watch more ads. The endless stream of match-three and merging games is overwhelming, with many being carbon copies of one another. I settled on a calming option called Merge Inn and stuck with it for three weeks.

Merge Inn has become a favorite because:

1. There’s no convoluted gameplay like Merge Mansion.
2. The variety of objectives is just right.
3. I appreciate the graphics.

Playing it felt like being a lion enjoying enrichment in its enclosure.

Merge Inn also features an energy bar that requires recharging. Fortunately, this can be accomplished quickly through ads, so I played extensively and watched ad after ad.

Weird Phone Game Ads Abound The Most Annoying Ones Many game ads depict a fake player making obviously poor choices. I suspect they aim to convey a subtle challenge: “Can you do better??!!” to encourage downloads. However, as someone frequently confronted with the folly of colleagues and my own, these ads often elicit eye-rolls.

Homescapes and Gardenscapes ads were banned in the UK for being misleading back in 2020. Authorities pointed out that the gameplay shown in these ads did not reflect the actual game experience.

I’m unsure if that’s still the case — I know only that Homescapes and Gardenscapes are match-three games, yet their ads portray nothing resembling that. Additionally, I’ve noticed that these two games and Manor Matters often recycle each other’s promotional material:

By the way, why is it always a woman being evicted with a child making fake, annoying cries? Are we still adhering to the damsel in distress trope in 2022? A story featuring a man being thrown out would certainly pique my interest.

Travel Town

Even though this is a merge game with appealing graphics, it warrants its own section because I cannot fathom why they chose this scene for their advertisement — the player was working at a café, initially performing well, but then made mistakes, leading to everyone getting upset and the player being fired.

Shouldn’t a game strive to showcase how relaxing it is? Do they genuinely believe players would download a game to experience customer complaints and labor disputes?

“Stacking Upgrades” Game Ads That Are Essentially Identical

I recently encountered an ad for Gold and Goblins:

This reminded me of several ads I’d seen for Township — aren’t they fundamentally the same game, just with different characters and settings?

I recall seeing one of the Township ads plastered with the “Township” watermark throughout the video. They all seem to copy one another. What’s the point?

Merge Merge Merge Merge Merge While enduring these ads (and coping by reminding myself that “this is all research for a post and will be worth it”), I compiled a list of games I hadn’t heard of that feature “merge” in their titles:

• Merge Manor: Sunny House (Another manor??)
• Merge Gardens
• Merge Dragons
• Evermerge

There’s even one called Matchington Mansion.

At this rate, we might soon see a game named Mergey McMergeFace.

As a side note, Evermerge features an atrocious ad reminiscent of a TikTok video — a woman sings the following lyrics with no instrumental background:

I play games, but I’m no gamer I’m laid back and not ambitious I play Evermerge for a good time, baby! Download Evermerge for a good time, baby!

I attempted to locate this ad on YouTube but was unsuccessful. I tried recording every ad I encountered in the game, hoping to find this one to showcase it here, but after three attempts, I gave up.

The essence of my point is that the woman sings off-key, and after my third failed recording attempt, I found myself gazing out the window, contemplating the meaning of life for a good ten minutes.

Fishdom

With so many mini-games within one app, I can’t fathom why the ad campaign manager thought the fish number game would be the most captivating to showcase.

I once saw a Fishdom ad featuring a boat with a number, implying that a fish could sink an entire vessel and evolve. As if that weren’t absurd enough, this ad showcased a massive navy submarine with a number:

Truly, What in the Fresh Hell is Going On Project Makeover Believe it or not, this one might be the most conventional of the bunch:

And then there’s this recurring ad that often appears. I recall seeing the girls somewhere other than a spa, yet the “failed” conclusion is always the same — the girl undergoing the makeover ends up with a buzzcut, a crown, and a red dress adorned with snakes, followed by her getting irate. I’ve witnessed numerous individuals in real life looking stunning with buzzcuts, so whenever I see this ad, my eyes roll as though they’re bowling balls in outer space.

In these ads, men are consistently portrayed as individuals to be won over by appearance, as if they can be easily swayed.

While contemplating the portrayal of gender binaries in these ads, I stumbled upon this:

A Ton of Divorcing Family Island and its knockoff Bermuda Adventures previously featured innocent ads — both were cheerful island merge games.

Then, one day, I witnessed the disintegration of a happy family in a Family Island ad:

I swear there was a Bermuda Adventures ad that commenced with a family battling for custody of their child in court.

Evony

Evony tackled the issue of misleading game ads head-on, asserting that their promotions accurately represent the gameplay. Occasionally, their ads feature a playable segment where the monster cheerfully walks into a pool of lava.

The catch with Evony is that while the ads are straightforward, the first level of actual gameplay is so challenging that it left me completely bewildered. I prefer not to engage my brain during my leisure time, so this game simply isn’t for me. Much like the Evermerge singing lady proclaims, I only play games for a good time, baby.

The Most Important Point to Note Children engage with mobile games. Many don’t grasp the concept of advertisements; they simply know that clicking a button and watching a video earns them in-game hearts, coins, and energy.

What implications do these ads have for young audiences?

Moreover, there are various other ads — being from Hong Kong, I’ve encountered promotions for games featuring sinister plots in ancient Chinese palaces, zombie games where women are depicted solely as prizes, and ads for platforms featuring adult film stars.

This is a significant concern. I’m getting “Something is wrong on the Internet” vibes.

In any case, I need to stop playing the merging game now. I must prepare for work soon, and the gameplay is becoming tedious.

Another rabbit hole trip of mine: I Got Sucked Down A Potato Chip Rabbit Hole And Barely Made It Back What is the actual flavor of this bag of Lay’s “Fromage Flavoured” Chips? thatshirleylee.medium.com

Still, my best post of all time: I Visited The Saddest Park Ever and Yelled at My Dad On Sunday, December 19, 2021, the Hong Kong government decided to make 99 percent of the city’s transport free for all. That… thatshirleylee.medium.com

You’ll miss me by my hair; you’ll miss me everywhere. You’ll miss me — when I’m gone.

Not if you click the link below and receive an email notification when my next post is published: Get an email whenever Shirley Lee publishes. By signing up, you’ll create a Medium account if you don’t already have one… thatshirleylee.medium.com