Chapter 1: The Shift from Rigid to Flexible

For anyone whose life plans have been completely upended,

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

I suspect I wasn’t born with an abundance of patience or adaptability. Perhaps my childhood experiences instilled in me a state of hyper-awareness, determination, and a desire for control. I remember a time when my mindset was extremely inflexible, always rushing to achieve one goal after another. I was constantly strategizing ten steps ahead, believing that happiness lay in some distant future.

However, life has dealt me a series of tough lessons in recent years. My development of patience and a more adaptable mindset didn’t come from meditation or daily gratitude practices; instead, it was born from the challenges that arose when I resisted change.

Throughout my life, I've always been resourceful, but the past year has demanded a different kind of ingenuity. Adapting to circumstances has sparked a newfound creativity within me. While I didn’t recognize this benefit at first, it has ultimately served me well. I learned to stop living in a future where I’d achieved all my dreams and learned to embrace unexpected turns along the way. I had to either bend or break, and as a single mother, breaking was not an option.

My children rely on my strength to navigate whatever life throws our way. They look up to me, and I strive to be someone they can admire and trust.

When the Medium platform altered its structure, ceasing to provide a reliable income, and content writing faced competition from artificial intelligence, I had to pivot. I didn’t abandon writing — that will never happen. Instead, I focused on refining other skills. I leveraged my social media knowledge to carve out a career and returned to the counseling field I had left years prior. I even explored my artistic side through crafting. Hustling is something I know well.

A creative career has never guaranteed stability. There are no benefits, paid leave, or sick days. What I do have is the flexibility to adapt my work and my willingness to step beyond writing to ensure my family is supported.

People often ask when my next book will be published, but I can’t provide a timeline. I wish I could promise to finish one this year or the next, but my priorities have shifted toward paying bills and making it to the next paycheck. I’ve balanced multiple jobs without letting any of them falter, and surprisingly, I’ve thrived — even during moments of doubt about my choices or my ability to sustain this lifestyle.

This is where patience and adaptability have truly flourished.

Chapter 2: Rediscovering My Passion for Counseling

Returning to counseling has been a gradual and somewhat tedious journey. Yet, I’ve rediscovered the joy of being a therapist and the positive impact I can have in that role. I had forgotten that I excel in this field, even though writing has always been my primary passion. I can contribute positively as a mental health clinician while still reaching audiences through my writing. Both aspirations can coexist without compromise.

Flexibility has also played a crucial role in my journey. I never envisioned a career in social media, yet I find enjoyment in it. I love engaging with the community and the outreach opportunities it brings. Selling eggs from my chickens or creating art were not part of my plan, but each new endeavor has instilled a sense of pride. I’ve learned not to rigidly adhere to a career blueprint when things don't go as planned; instead, I can mold it to suit my needs.

I appreciate writing, counseling, social media, and community engagement. I value the connections I make by occasionally stepping out of my home. My varied pursuits do not overwhelm me; rather, they contribute to a fulfilling life. I no longer attempt to predict the future.

My priorities are clear: supporting my family comes first, and I aim to do so in a meaningful and enriching manner. If that requires juggling multiple jobs, I’m ready to do so for our security and well-being.

I have plans to expand my garden and continue caring for my chickens. Perhaps I’ll sell produce at local markets or use it solely for my family. I remain open to possibilities without crafting an elaborate business plan. My focus is on building a life enriched by creativity, especially during challenging times.

While I may not become an expert in crafting, I enjoy exploring my artistic side in ways that differ from writing. This journey has been enjoyable, and I can share it with my children. It’s not the path I once envisioned, but that’s perfectly fine.

I’ve also let go of the expectation to remarry within a specific timeframe. With no partner in sight, I’ve come to realize that I can find fulfillment in being single. I’ve set aside timelines and expectations to fully embrace the present.

I no longer feel the need to control everything.

That realization, which once frightened me, now brings comfort. I can only focus on doing the next right thing. I have the power to make choices, and even if those choices lead to mistakes, I can always choose again.

I’m free to change my mind and navigate a new path as many times as necessary. I’m learning to outgrow certain things — and people too. Once, my life felt bound by rigid requirements; now, it opens up to boundless possibilities. I may not know what lies ahead, but I don’t need to. I’ll continue moving forward, ensuring that every detour adds beauty to my journey.

The Cost of an Un-lived Life

For years, I lived in discontent because I couldn’t envision what my future might hold if I chose to make changes.

Normalizing the Messy Experience of Being Human for My Children

There’s no such thing as perfection, only growth.